I don't have those perfect and special moments as often as I'd like, which is probably a good thing. If I had them more often I think I would not treasure them as much as I do. I remember feeling like this during our vacation to South Carolina in the spring; we were walking down the boardwalk, each child was eating a piece of salt water taffy, I was walking with someone I was lucky enough to meet ten years ago, the sun was shining down and warming us up and I just felt like everything was exactly perfect and there was nothing in that moment that I would ever want to change. Have you ever seen those fountains that are big spheres of rock, perfectly round, with a hole just on top where the water bubbles out and flows all around the sphere? I felt like I was one of those fountains, and pure happiness was flowing out of me and covering all of those five people around me.
This evening I was snuggling Theodore in his bed. He was almost asleep and the covers were toasty and warm. The room was dim, lit only by his nightlight. Peter and Eleanor were busy doing their homework (Peter at the hall table, Eleanor at her table in her room), and the sound of their silence and hard work (trust me, the sound of your children being productive and quiet is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world) was euphoric. Matt and Viola were in Eleanor's room, and from the warm coziness of Theodore's bed I listened to them as they played together. Viola was laughing and Matt was probably softly tackling and tickling, judging from their sounds. All of the sudden, I felt like everything was exactly as it should be. I had a magical moment where I felt an intense love for my family in a physical way; I felt full, all the way full, of love from my toes to the tip of my head. My children are healthy, happy, well-adjusted, smart, caring, empathetic, wonderful people and I am incredible fortunate to have all four of them. I can see their potential and it amazes me to think of the people they can be. I have given birth to four of my five best friends. I am so grateful for my life and and the lives of those I love.
I love these crazy kids more than they know.
